Another prompt has urged me to write about a time I pampered myself....here goes!
About a year ago in my psychology class we were learning about positive reinforcement, and I chose to reward myself for giving five genuine compliments each day with twenty minutes of listening to Hans Zimmer before all of my homework was done. Now I know this sounds crazy, but this was quite the reward. I was booked with homework from A.P. History and other classes while trying to apply for multiple scholarships, keep up on my chores, and spend a decent amount of family time with all eight members. I'm really not complaining, and I know that several students worked a lot harder than me last year, but that was my schedule and with it being so busy, Hans was a great reward, positive indeed.
Anyway, back to my original point, when I finally was able to listen to Hans Zimmer, this was the first night of reinforcement mind you, I made it a big event. I cleaned my room, laid out my special blanket, made some tea, lit some candles, and even put on my best pajamas. I laid on my bed, closed my eyes, and let the music play quite loudly. Sadly, within the first two minutes - no exaggeration - I was struck with guilt and anger. There were so many things I should have been doing! I keep thinking how I needed to work out, maybe do a few extra chores, get ahead in my studies, talk to my parents, fill out another scholarship application, so many things! I walked to my door and was ready to head out but stopped myself, thinking that my best work will not be up to par if I don't take a second to sit back and reward myself. It's only twenty minutes and it's helping me become a little bit more healthy psychologically.
It's always like that...whenever I take an hour long bath, play my flute for an extra twenty minutes, watch a movie...my old friend Guilt sits by me and wraps her arms around me, gnawing my mind like the gadfly she is. Don't get me wrong, I pamper myself all the time, too much at times, given all the preparation I should be doing for college and jobs and what not. Either way, I cannot escape Guilt's hold but I did listen to Hans every night for about a week, regardless of how bad I felt.
There you have it! I know you want to pamper yourself now, and don't worry, I have a few Hans Zimmer CD's if you'd like to listen to one. You deserve the break after all, my vast and endless readers you. Thanks for reading and remember to keep writing!!
I didn't even know you did this. It sounded like a terrific idea. My husband's professor used to say, "We are human beings, not human doings." We are meant to just "be" sometimes. Hopefully, your friend Peace will come along, detach Guilt's arm from your shoulder, and whisper in your ear, "You are meant to just BE sometimes, and this being makes you healthier and more alive than if you only ever DID."
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